THE DAY AFTER THE NIGHT BEFORE

THE NIGHT BEFORE….
“This is not the life I dreamt of as a child!” I thought to myself. I staggered towards the door and my hands trembled as I tried to find my keys. My heart raced and I was out of breath. I was really afraid as the events of the past twenty minutes flashed through my head. I let myself into my home and slumped on the couch. It was a mess and it reflected my life. I was a mess and I needed help cleaning up my mess. I had no idea on  how to but I was tired of me.

I had just been diagnosed with Cirrhosis, the final stage of alcoholic liver disease. I brought it upon myself and I felt guilty. I was only 25 but I had been drinking heavily since I was 20. At first I did it for fun, but after sometime I couldn’t stay off the bottle. It had been a burden but one I wasn’t willing to relieve myself of. My grades, my job, my relationships and my family suffered all because of my drinking but I seemed not to care. I was a nuisance with a stinking attitude. I had always known deep down in my heart that I needed help but no one wanted to come close to me. Today I was told I could only be considered for a liver transplant if I could stay off alcohol for at least three months. I knew that would be impossible and the thought of the consequences depressed me even more.

I lay on the couch, closed my eyes and cried. I cried at who I had become. I thought of all I had lost to alcohol. I thought of my family; my parents and brothers. They had tried to help me but I had constantly driven them away. I thought of my mother, we used to be best friends. She had tried to help me overcome this but I fought her. I fought her so much that she had to stay away for her own safety. I thought of my childhood friends Amy and Judith. I remembered how we used to talk about our future when were in high school. We were brilliant and always had good grades. We had big dreams and the two of them achieved their dreams. Amy was a solicitor with a top-notch law firm and Judith was an advertising executive. I always wanted to be a pediatrician but I couldn’t keep up with the pressure. I dropped out of university after my second year. I had only managed to get that far with low grades. I took up a job in a clinic but I was fired after I turned up to work very late and reeking of alcohol. I had tried my hands at a few other jobs which I left voluntarily because I could not keep up. Finally, I settled to work as a cleaner during the day and a stripper at night. I really had no choice since I had bills to pay.

I opened my eyes and they met with the bottle of vodka on the table. I got up, picked it up and opened it. I drank a mouthful and put it down. I felt really guilty again and I fell on the floor. “I need help” I muttered. “I need to talk to someone. Who do I call?” I thought. I looked around for my phone. I saw it lying close to the bin and I went over to pick it up. As I bent to pick it, my eyes sighted a yellow leaflet in the bin, with the words “DO YOU NEED A FRIEND?” written in bold. Without picking up my phone, I reached for the leaflet in the bin. I was curious. “How did this get here? Why is it in the bin?” I thought. I opened it and my eyes met the word “Jesus”. I was a bit irritated at first but I was still curious so I began to read.

I read that Jesus is the ultimate friend one can have. I read that He died for my sins that I may have life in abundance. I learnt that He could turn my life around and give me hope. Then I read, Hebrews 4:15-16; “For we do not have a High Priest who is unable to understand and sympathize and have a shared feeling with our weaknesses and infirmities and liability to the assaults of temptation, but One who has been tempted in every respect as we are, yet without sinning. Let us then confidently and boldly draw near to the throne of grace (the throne of God’s unmerited favour to us sinners), that we may receive mercy [for our failures] and find grace to help in good time for every need [appropriate help and well-timed help, coming just when we need it].” That was it! I suddenly felt lighter. I wasn’t without hope after all. I could talk to Jesus. He’s the only one who could help me overcome this. I didn’t know how to pray as I had never been to a church in my life. Infact I had never fancied Christianity. It felt like a joke to me but tonight was no joke.

I knelt down and with tears running down my face I said, “Lord Jesus please help me. I believe you are God. I believe you died for my sins and that of the world. I am a mess and I’ve lost everything. I’m about to lose my life but I know you can give it back to me. Give me another chance at life and make me whole again. Come into my life; give me peace and a reason to smile again. I don’t want to live like this anymore.” I fell asleep on the floor and for the first time in five years, I saw the light at the end of the tunnel.

...THE DAY AFTER
I woke up joyful. It was a special day. I knew something happened to me the night before. I got up from the floor and wondered how come I lived in such a messy home. I began to clean up my room. I started by clearing all bottles of alcohol. They suddenly looked like bottles of poison. I emptied them into the toilet and flushed them down. I picked up all the clothes lying on the floor and I saw that leaflet again. I smiled as I picked it up. I opened the curtains and let sunlight in. Life suddenly seemed beautiful again. I took a shower and went to a bookstore. I bought a Bible and that was the beginning of my miraculous journey.

The Bible taught me that Jesus is a friend that sticks closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24) and I could always trust Him with my life (Psalm 3:5-6). He is our ever present help in time of need (Psalm 46:1) and He rewards all who diligently seek Him (Hebrews 11:6). I learnt that His death on the cross was to wash away my sins and that of the whole world and that by believing in Him, I was free from condemnation of sin (Romans 8:1). Most importantly, I learnt from the gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John that He is a healer and turned impossible situations around. I prayed that He will heal me and I believed He heard me.

I stopped drinking and after three months I went back to the hospital to ask if I could be considered for the liver transplant. A few more tests were carried out and I was told to come back in a few days. When I got back, the doctor smiled at me and said, “I don’t know how but there seems to be no trace of liver disease. I can’t explain it but it seems some sort of a miracle.” I couldn’t believe my ears. I was ecstatic! Really?! “You mean I don’t have liver disease?” I asked. He replied with a nod. I couldn’t contain myself. I wasn’t going to die after all. I had a second chance.

That was nine years ago. I’m alive and healthy with no trace of liver disease. I went back to school and graduated as a doctor two years ago. I reunited with my family and friends and they too have come to know Jesus. I’m married now to a God-fearing man with a beautiful daughter. My new life is a miracle that only God could have given me. I continue to share the testimonies of my new life. God healed me and made me a blessing to others. Today I counsel people who suffer addictions and life-threatening diseases. If Jesus could clean me up, there is no one who cannot have a chance at a beautiful life. Come to Jesus, He is the ultimate friend you can have.

Disclaimer: Written in the first person narrative but not the life story of the blogger.